I sit here, still in my long summer holidays from uni, thinking about writing. I have thoroughly enjoyed my time off, and not really given writing essays a thought until I worked at Nottingham’s mini open day last week, and I realised how much I enjoy the pressure of the institution.
As much as I like to think that I could write purposefully about a subject without being set a task, I think in reality, at least at the moment, I would actually find that quite difficult. My uni always sets fairly open-ended questions for tasks, so whilst they don’t pigeon-hole answers, the very fact I have to write a response, is of course, enough to get me to do so. So what happens when this ‘purpose’ isn’t there any longer?
It’s something I’ve been contemplating for a while, because as I approach my third and final year studying English, my mini purposes are soon to run out. But I suppose where the real solution lies, is in the way I value my own purpose. I have contemplated why a book full of prompts can get me to write, even when I don’t particularly like the prompts, when an almost fully brewed idea in my head will never make it to paper, and I feel that it is utterly down to confidence. Other people’s ideas, prompts, commands, commitment: they always seem more purposeful than your own. So until you give yourself that purpose, you will always be relying on someone else’s.
But self-motivation is always more satisfying, and giving yourself the strength to bring about your own reason for doing something will always rule supreme.